[ And there--that familiar feeling of needing to watch out for someone, of needing to cast protection, like he had tried for the Titans. However, he's wary now. It's not his place here. ]
I don't know. I tried to talk to Klaus about it, but... to be honest, I don't know how much I can trust what he says.
[Vanya stares at her communicator. She doesn't know if it's easier or harder to do this in text than in person. She thinks it's easier. It's getting easier to open up about these things, the more people come along who seem to really care about her.]
I hurt my sister very badly. It was an accident because we were having a fight and I didn't know how my powers worked, but I still did it. I came home to see if she was okay. One of my brothers choked me until I was unconscious and locked me in the room my dad designed for me. I escaped. Destructively. [There's a lot to that story, but it's still hard for her to talk about. It seems only fair to make it clear that she didn't slip out quietly, though. Especially since she's telling such a terrible story about her family.] I went to go perform at a concert I had that night, and all my siblings crashed the concert to kill me. That's how I ended up here.
[ That's fucked. Fucked and fucked and so incredibly understandable. He can see how something like that might happen in a family of superpowers. Hell, even in his family, with the Titans, it's only the constructed dynamics of teamwork keeping them from killing each other. That, and Bruce's rule: no killing. ]
Sorry, Vanya. That's horrible.
[ He says what he has to say, not what he wants--which is to ask for details, to feel out the whole story because he knows it can't be that simple. The nuances are such a part of it. To kill someone for hurting another very badly--it's not even a close equivalent. At the same time, he can feel Vanya's hurt even through the texts and he's not going to make her relive it. Besides. It's simply not his business. ]
Things don't always turn out. It's hard. We'll figure out a way to get out of here and get you back.
I've been able to live so much more dead in Hell than I ever was alive on Earth. I was miserable every day I was alive, and here I've made friends that trust and care about me. I hope I can work my way into heaven one day, but there's nothing waiting for me if we discover resurrection.
[It almost makes her sorry she didn't kill herself when she started considering it. Almost.]
[ It takes him a while to text back, not because he’s busy, or because he hasn’t seen Vanya’s text. Rather, he stares at it for way too long, considering and considering and reeling from the thought of it. It makes sense, as disturbing as it is. Jason’s hinted at a similar thought before. ]
If I met you on Earth, I’d feel the same way about you. It’s not Hell. There are people just as good waiting for you back home, I know it. They want you to think this way here. Don’t give into it.
[ And realistically? Truthfully? He doesn’t believe in the redemption thing for a single second. ]
[Her own honesty catches her off guard too. Maybe it's the lack of medication, making her freer to express her open and honest feelings. She doesn't want to go back to Earth. She doesn't want to be asked to keep living a life that offered little but loneliness and sharp betrayal.
She pauses when he says he'd feel the same way about her. She doubts it. No one liked mousy, timid, sad little Vanya with the mediocre violin skills and a bottle of pills the size of her fist. No one noticed her. Even Helen, a woman she played with for years, needed to be reminded of her name.]
I was a really different person on Earth.
Don't give into it? Why not?
Even if it were a lie, why would I leave someplace I'm mostly happy to go back somewhere I hated?
['They want you to think this way.' Well, congrats, she does. And she doesn't see anything wrong with it. Is compliance a bad thing when someone is giving you exactly what you want in exchange for little to no sacrifice?]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
What do you mean? Are they after you?
no subject
[Vanya stares at her communicator. She doesn't know if it's easier or harder to do this in text than in person. She thinks it's easier. It's getting easier to open up about these things, the more people come along who seem to really care about her.]
I hurt my sister very badly. It was an accident because we were having a fight and I didn't know how my powers worked, but I still did it. I came home to see if she was okay. One of my brothers choked me until I was unconscious and locked me in the room my dad designed for me. I escaped. Destructively. [There's a lot to that story, but it's still hard for her to talk about. It seems only fair to make it clear that she didn't slip out quietly, though. Especially since she's telling such a terrible story about her family.] I went to go perform at a concert I had that night, and all my siblings crashed the concert to kill me. That's how I ended up here.
no subject
Sorry, Vanya. That's horrible.
[ He says what he has to say, not what he wants--which is to ask for details, to feel out the whole story because he knows it can't be that simple. The nuances are such a part of it. To kill someone for hurting another very badly--it's not even a close equivalent. At the same time, he can feel Vanya's hurt even through the texts and he's not going to make her relive it. Besides. It's simply not his business. ]
Things don't always turn out. It's hard. We'll figure out a way to get out of here and get you back.
CW: mentions of suicidal ideation
[It surprises even her how fast she texts that.]
I've been able to live so much more dead in Hell than I ever was alive on Earth. I was miserable every day I was alive, and here I've made friends that trust and care about me. I hope I can work my way into heaven one day, but there's nothing waiting for me if we discover resurrection.
[It almost makes her sorry she didn't kill herself when she started considering it. Almost.]
no subject
If I met you on Earth, I’d feel the same way about you.
It’s not Hell. There are people just as good waiting for you back home, I know it.
They want you to think this way here. Don’t give into it.
[ And realistically? Truthfully? He doesn’t believe in the redemption thing for a single second. ]
no subject
She pauses when he says he'd feel the same way about her. She doubts it. No one liked mousy, timid, sad little Vanya with the mediocre violin skills and a bottle of pills the size of her fist. No one noticed her. Even Helen, a woman she played with for years, needed to be reminded of her name.]
I was a really different person on Earth.
Don't give into it? Why not?
Even if it were a lie, why would I leave someplace I'm mostly happy to go back somewhere I hated?
['They want you to think this way.' Well, congrats, she does. And she doesn't see anything wrong with it. Is compliance a bad thing when someone is giving you exactly what you want in exchange for little to no sacrifice?]