[ ETA, five minutes. In and out. That’s it. Nothing else.
Dick’s knuckles rap three quick consecutive times on the wooden door. The sound echoes through the hallway, shaking through his thoughts as fingers still bruised from his last fight tighten around a small box. The kraft wrapping paper is smooth in his hand, carefully covering a case that holds what he refuses to call a gift. The box is long and skinny with a sturdy weight to it. He looks down at it as he waits for an answer at the door. What he holds will either be a huge success or a massive disaster. He pushes his thoughts away from it and looks back at the door.
In and out, he reminds himself. That’s it. Despite meeting Sizhui for the first time, Dick knows he doesn’t want to be around for longer than simply passing the box off to Sizhui and instructing him to give it to Jason. He doesn't need to stay around for questions or answers, explanations, elaborations.
Sizhui brought Jason back and that’s enough. Sizhui is enough to be around Jason and obviously patient enough to put up with his shit. That should be enough for Dick as well. He has no idea how much Sizhui knows about him and his history with Jason, or whether he knows the details about how Dick fucked up, so isn't it enough that Sizhui texts him at all? Amidst whirring thoughts, Dick checks himself—he has no real right to even care.
What's important is that Jason’s out, he knows that, so the timing is perfect. They don’t have to see each other. There’s nothing to have second thoughts about, no use in second guessing himself. He’s here already. ]
[‘five minutes, in and out’ alongside ‘jason will do that to you’ in his messages leaves sizhui's heart beating faster than he likes (and definitely in a way he can't explain).
waiting by himself in the apartment is a little nerve-racking, no matter how long ago he'd started renting at the highrise complex; it's been some odd months, one would think he'd have adapted at this point, would be able to call the small place – procured with a job that oh-so-conveniently fell in his lap! – ‘home’ by now, yet staying all alone still gives him an unexplained anxiety he struggles to tamp down, sometimes has even until he recognizes the sound of jason coming back. he, however, needn't knock and knowing so is what makes sizhui head toward the door. perhaps there's also the faint panic of meeting dick for the first time, hoping he'll make a somewhat decent impression with his hair messily tied back and in an oversized sweater and leggings combo—
goodness, he should've changed into something more proper, but time was already short then it's far too late after someone's at the door and he certainly won't make a guest wait for long.] Coming! [he calls, smoothing back some loose hair, adjusting the hem of his shirt to settle straighter over his hips, further down his thighs. why? why does he want to look okay for someone who'd piss him off if jason knew he was there? he's well-aware the relationship(?) between them is strained to put it mildly, hasn't found it in himself to pry for information his friend never offers and this moment won't be an exception.
for the gift will be his excuse, of course! since jason may be stubborn but sizhui's capable of the same thing, especially given some people back in his homeworld that he's familiar with. he shakes his head, squares his shoulders, exhales a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding and reaches to open the door.]
Hello! [then he politely inclines his head following the soft, excited greeting, steps aside, free hand absently gesturing.] Please, come in.
Hey. [ Sounding a lot calmer and more laid-back than he feels, the greeting comes after a few beats too long, because for a moment, he’s caught taking in Sizhui. He’s flowing locks, swimming in a sweater that’s too big to be Jason’s had the clouds not been telling enough, covering an elegant figure in leggings. Sizhui. He’d expected chinese but he hadn’t expected someone who looked so decidedly delicate. He looks young, features all soft curves and a tip of his head that’s friendly and gentle. Is this Jason’s type? Someone who couldn’t be more opposite?
A subtle curl of his hips couples with a shake of his head. He’s being rude, he knows, and the pleasant, welcoming gesture of a graceful hand makes it harder to say no. ]
It’s alright, I’ve gotta go. [ In and out, Grayson. ] Hey, thanks, for—doing this. Here. [ Take it—here, the box, held out to Sizhui. ]
[meanwhile, sizhui stands there, letting himself be looked over like it's an everyday sort of thing (it isn't, he's just unsure how else to consider someone else checking him out in such a way), almost too-wide eyes unwavering from dick's face. there's the old saying, “opposites attract,” or something along those lines and maybe that's how it's happened to work out for jason? but he's never been one to contemplate if he has a so-called ‘type’ or not; jason is far different than anyone else he knows back home, both personality-wise and in looks.
“i've gotta go,” dick says and oh no, he's going to lose his chance if he doesn't act quickly. it's silly, admitting he's afraid of being alone but.]
Ah... [he trails off initially, reaches to take the box.] You're welcome, really, it's no trouble at all! I, uhm. [sizhui stops again then – without genuinely thinking about consequences – uses his free hand to grab dick's wrist before he can just take off.] Stay, please? Even just a few minutes not by myself would be terrific.
[ Checking out is different from simply taking him in, Dick decides, handing off the box with a breath that smooths away a bit of the tension. He opens his mouth to wrap it up and say something along the lines of great meeting you, when Sizhui’s fingers find his wrist. His mouth snaps shut and dark eyes flick down to his wrist before lifting back up again.
The slight moment of confusion is eased away when Sizhui speaks and the tug of his brows smoothes out to something empathetic. ] Are you along here? A lot? [ Then where does that put Jason? ]
[as soon as dick looks down at where he's been grabbed, sizhui snatches his hand back like his fingers have been burnt, tucks the arm behind his back and sheepishly lowers his head again. that was too much, wasn't it? too forward, just like he had assumed when texting jason however many hours ago. he does peek back up, shyer than necessary, although he doesn't want to make another mistake and run dick off.]
Sometimes. [a beat] Usually... [no, most times he's at work and then is alone for a little while afterward until jay finally comes.] They gave me a few days off from my job to. Adjust a little more.
Adjust? [ It's probably curiosity and some odd mix of feeling like he needs to stay for at least a few minutes, because Sizhui had been vulnerable enough to ask for just that. He looks almost shy now, snatching back a hand that was more surprising than unwanted, and Dick doesn't have the heart to say no. Just a few minutes. He can still be in and out.
He steps into the apartment, eyes sweeping through what he can see of the apartment. It's small, cozy. Nothing like Jason's room in the tower that's still exactly like how he left it. Dick feels a clench in his chest, like something wrapping around his torso and tugging. He looks back at Sizhui with a smile. ]
Mm-hmm. [okay, well, now it feels extra ridiculous to confide in someone he's talked to mostly through texts and who he's just meeting today, but there's also an odd sense of relief that goes along with it. sizhui wasn't trying to seem overly taken aback on purpose, he should've thought his movements through a little better, though it seems to have worked out in his favor for once.
dick comes into the apartment and he moves to shut the door behind him, twists the deadbolt into place then leans against the door momentarily. at least whenever dick looks at him this time, he's able to meet his gaze and offer the faintest smile in kind.]
Being here, in this modern world. Everything's so different than where I came from.
[ Dick really shouldn’t be here. He’s intruding. This is Jason’s space—Jason and Sizhui’s space, he reminds himself, and Sizhui invited him in. It’d be rude of him to insist on leaving. His arms fold over his chest and he stands in the tiny little entry between the couch and the door where Sizhui is leaning.
Tiny, but cozy. If Titans was flying, then this was down to earth. Maybe the perfect place to land after falling from so high. ]
The— [ His brow furrows in confusion. ] Modern world? Where you came from—you mean. [ Otherworldly—othertimely maybe, if he were to find a word to describe Sizhui. There really was something off. Right. Makes sense, despite the surprise of the realization. ] You’re not from this time, are you? [ A beat for a thought. ] Jason knows? Your work knows?
[exactly, it's not intruding when one was invited and that's what sizhui's done, isn't it? no reason for dick to feel awkward about being here... except maybe if jason was also present. were that the case though, dick likely wouldn't have come by to drop the gift off, even if there was a guaranteed way of avoiding him.
little does he know just what sort of fall jason had before landing here. how fortunate, he's never been the prying type either, particularly when it comes to things that might upset his friend.
the barely-there smile widens somewhat then sizhui pushes off the door and moves toward the little couch (which is like an oversized chair more than anything), perches himself on the edge of it, hands clasped together in his lap over the wrapped box. finally, he answers,] No, I'm not. I come from many, many years ago... and yes, Jason knows, but my job only thinks I'm an exchange student. [a decent cover story, he'd think.]
[ Sizhui moves to the daybed so Dick takes a few steps back, leaning back against the kitchen counter with his arms still crossed. His eyes widen at the answer he gets, betraying his surprise as he takes a few seconds to process that. So it is real. He's from the past. Sizhui's somehow caught up many many years and Jason--knows?
An exchange student. That's a decent cover story. Slowly, he nods, accepting the information. He believes most of it and thinks that if he were Bruce, he'd cross-check everything. But he's not and Sizhui seems like he's telling the truth, and it's truly too crazy to be a lie. Not to mention Sizhui has no reason to be lying to him. ]
Okay. [ He'll accept it. ] Okay, I uh-- [ A hand sweeps out before returning to his upper arm. ] I hope you adjust. Easily. Soon. [ Always been shit at the small-talk, when he's not asking for answers or pressing for facts. ] So you live here now? With Jason? [ His head tips to the side, into the apartment, then back again. A brow quirks, questioning. ] Together?
[he instinctively bites his bottom lip to keep from smiling wider, somewhat delighted he's gotten so good at blending in with this timeline, he's genuinely surprised someone he's meeting for the first time; that's a long ways away from the staring and sometimes downright rude remarks. how much should he tell dick, anyway? it's odd, but he almost feels like he could say just about anything— thank goodness, he has more self-control than that!
sizhui casts his attention downward once he's realized he might've stared at dick too long, distracted by how nonchalantly he leans, like he's comfortable despite the tentative small-talk. he can't help himself though, everything he's heard from jason seems... not wrong, per se, but.]
Thank you. [accepted with another gentle, easy-going quirk of his lips which instantly softens following dick's question, the inquiring lift of a brow.] I, ah, I'm the one renting and Jason comes whenever he likes. [an unintentional beat of awkward silence before he briskly tacks on,] Or goes as he sees fit. I don't try to... force him to stay when he might have things that need doing.
[is he being subtle enough about this? gods, he doesn't know.]
[ Sizhui looks at him for a little too long but Dick doesn't move from his position or stance. They're meeting each other for the first time. Sizhui isn't from here, so it's fine. He's staring a little too.
A subtle nod of his head at Sizhui’s thanks, and Dick’s looking down with the pinch in his chest. That often, huh. Might as well be living here--probably does, if he reads between the lines. Instead of lingering on the thought, he moves on to his next question. He doesn’t mean to pry and ask question after question but Sizhui hasn’t expressed any resistance and well—talking about Jason is just easier than talking about anything else.
Not that he believes much of anything that’s being said. Not that he misses the awkward blip of silence as he takes in what Sizhui says. ]
But…? [ There's always a but. ] But you want him to stay here with you, right? Because when he’s gone, you’re alone and you miss him. [ Would Dick ever admit he misses Jason? No. But the present says as much. ] No labels, but it is what it is.
[that's good, he would've hated for his gawking to make dick uncomfortable; the fact he stays still rather than make some restless motion tells sizhui he's either being polite or he doesn't mind. regardless of whichever one it is, he appreciates either way.
just like how he's grateful dick looks down when he does since he's peeking up, trying to see if he can gauge a reaction in the man, make certain he hasn't overstepped any boundaries or revealed information jason might not approve. does it genuinely matter when the other boy isn't even here at the moment? would dick honest to god try and find some way to ask him about it? he glances away again, toward the succulents scattered across the nearby windowsill, pouring every ounce of willpower he has into staring at those.
yet dick's question draws his attention anyhow, has him turning back, an eyebrow of his own lifting with consideration. should he agree? it's the truth, there's no doubting that and he's never been the best liar, but what if—?] You're right. [well, alrighty then, guess they're doing this.] He's— Jason is the only person I really know right now.
I'm still settling into my job, my home... [his gaze falters momentarily, lips rolling before he gathers himself.] It's lonely, but that isn't his fault.
[ Oh no. He hadn't meant this as a way of talking about such subjects, to bring up something that's obviously uncomfortable for Sizhui, who's avoiding his eyes like the plague right now. Dick's breath sifts out in a soft sigh. ]
It's not your fault, either. Jason's the only person you know. [ Wow, think about that. Jason Todd, the only person in your life. He manages a smile. ] It's a new environment. It's not surprising that you feel alone. [ His chest tugs. ] But you know me, now, as well. [ What was it that Rachel said? Can't resist a stray? A bird with a broken wing? ]
I'll try not to blame myself. [uncomfortable or not, he can readily admit he should put himself out there more, find some common interests with his customers, perhaps sincerely attempt befriending other people. that's difficult when so many of them, even after months now, still give him the odd glance or two. the regulars aren't as bad though, thankfully.
being fair, dick is technically right in this situation, too. sizhui straightens and rises to his feet all in one graceful motion, outright grinning while he bridges what distance is between them, an arm outstretched for a more proper greeting; the simple handshake seems harmless enough.] Since we've met properly, I guess an actual introduction is due, hm? My name is Lan Sizhui, though just ‘Sizhui’ is alright. [he shrugs sheepishly, smile broadening.] Old habits die hard.
[ Something in those words sounds like they’re said just to say Sizhui’s said them, hears Dick’s bit of comfort without listening much. It’s a process, he can understand that. Everyone needs a bit of time, especially when it’s a different time. Aren’t they all too hard on themselves?
His smile tugs wider with the slight cant of his head. Dick’s too used to minding the every point and set of his body, of others’ bodies, and he can’t help but notice a fluidity to the way Sizhui lifts out of the daybed and reaches out. Hm. A fluidity that’s effortless and graceful and speaks volumes about Sizhui’s awareness of his own body. A fluidity that hints at training.
His gaze puzzles for a veiled second as he reaches out and takes the hand in a firm, supportive grip. ]
Sizhui. Good to finally meet you. Dick Grayson. I’m sure Jason’s told you—lots. [ A weight to that last word, tugged by guilt. ] But I’m glad I’m meeting you with no pretense.
[if there's any moment in time where dick thinks he's unobservant, he needs to think again. of course sizhui said it just to say it and maybe his smile is genuine, but he does blame himself a little bit. some of the people he's seen at work seem friendly enough and there's a pet store down the way where he could go visit cute animals— oh! now there's an idea he could try one day.
goodness, sizhui's practically beaming by the time dick accepts the gesture and takes his hand, which he closes his fingers around in an equally tight hold. dick's mindfulness in this moment is important because the younger male's hands are soft, but there's a certain sturdiness there that speaks volumes; faint leftover calluses from years of sword-fighting and playing guqin, obviously, though he's discovered the wonders of pumice stones, lotions and other modern world remedies to help. they'll for sure start coming back once the gardening takes.
he doesn't let go or withdraw right away, briefly distracted by dick's comment about what jason's told him.] The same to you. He definitely has, yes, but I have to admit: I'm one of those people who likes to meet someone face-to-face and gauge them in person.
So, I guess I'm saying I'm glad for that, too? [you're starting to sound like jingyi, comes a soft self-scolding then sizhui realizes he should maybe let go, finally loosens his fingers.] And I certainly don't understand what Jason meant when he said, “Yeah, Dick's name really fits him because he is one.” Because you don't seem contemptible at all...
[ a decent day's worth of work behind is behind him and his wallet's a little fatter for it. in the empty elevator, jason licks the pad of his thumb to flip through his day's bread and butter, earbuds in and loud metal raging into his ears, red wire dangling down to the phone in his pocket. he isn't doing bad, but it sure as hell isn't close enough for the shit he's got his eyes on. it's getting him through. buying him time. his arm's still kinda shit, gets weak on him in the worst fucking moments, and sizhui is still -- adjusting.
lucky he's cute.
the landlord loves him, his job is understanding. really shows how far good looks'll get you.
jason wouldn't get shit if their shoes were swapped; even after washing up, jason still feels like a mess. grease stains in ripped jeans and hair fucked up under his hood. jason doesn't need it. he shoves his wallet back into his pocket as the elevator comes to a stop, the doors opening apart for him. new world and all, he'd think sizhui would never get bored, but he doesn't like being left alone. even though there's plenty jason could be filling his time doing, he's slinking out the elevator and down a familiar tight hallway.
all he hears is his own music even as his keys jingle as he slides the key in, opening the door.] Hey babe—
[ — the words are cut off, punctuated with jason yanking the wire of his earbuds and pulling them quickly out of his ears, body stiff and bristling at the sight of dick grayson. his shoulders are tight, jaw set, but jason stays frozen in the doorway, eyes flickering between sizhui's hand in dick's. between sizhui and dick, lingering longer on dick.] What the fuck are you doing here.
[ Sizhui’s hand is calloused despite how delicate every other part of him looks, and that coupled with the sheer control of his moments does flicker another thought in his mine that gets filed away for later. His own hands are calloused from his night gig, after all, but that’s not as misplaced on someone like him.
Right. Of course Jason would call him a dick and play on the age-old joke of his name to someone he hasn’t even ever met. Of course Jason would talk shit behind his back but really, what was he even expecting. He probably deserves it, after what happened between them. Dick huffs out a wry laugh, shaking his head before lifting a brow. ]
Jason’s— [ His head whips to the door at the sound of a key in the lock, eyes widening, heart immediately leaping to his tight throat. He’s too shocked to have the mind to pull his hand away from Sizhui’s grip, not that they were doing anything wrong. Just shaking hands. That’s it.
Except for the fact that he knows sure as hell Jason would hate that he’s here.
Silence so thick it could be cut with a knife permeates through the air. So much gets expressed in the tension of Jason’s shoulders, bristling and riled up, spitting words sharp and hot after calling Sizhui babe. He pulls his hand back, drops it to his side as his jaw tightens. ]
Jason. [ In the flesh, looking exactly like he’d left him. ] I’m not. [ Leaving, pushing off the counter he’s leaning on, all hint of the smile on his mouth tugs off as he looks away from Jason and makes a move to step towards the door. It’s fine, he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t care if it makes him look weak, like he’s giving up. He’ll leave. ]
[laughter is the last thing sizhui's expecting after an insult like that. sure, he was simply repeating what jason had told him and, in spite of himself, it does make his own mouth curve at the edges, but it was still rude nevertheless. and wrong from the sounds of it, keeping in mind how nicely their meeting seems to be going. or had been, rather.
noise near the door also draws his attention, makes sizhui snap his attention in that direction, heartbeat jackhammering with the realization: jason's home even before his key slides home and the door swings open.
“hey, babe—” but the abrupt pause steals his breath away, makes him suddenly glad dick can form the coherent thought of letting him go which makes sizhui lower his arm, both of them tucking almost shamefully behind his back. no, they weren't doing anything wrong, that doesn't mean dick being inside the apartment is right in a sense. (it's not wrong either, it just feels like outright disrespect for jason's wishes, even if not explicitly stated.) neverminding the apprehension in his voice,] Jason! Hi, [and before he can lose his nerve (or dick can get too far), sizhui's skittering toward jason, sidling up beside him and looping an arm around his waist to squeeze.
doing this inadvertently(?) crowds the doorway a little more, making it so dick either has to stop or attempt an uncomfy squeeze past them both.] Listen, it's okay, I only invited him inside to talk for a little bit! [you weren't supposed to come home yet, goes unsaid for obvious reasons.
he tightens his arm around jason's midsection, both for his own sake and jason's, doing everything within his power to ignore the higher pitch of his voice. (it might also be for dick's sake too, considering any possibly reckless actions.)] I'm sorry, I— I probably should've asked, but it was my fault, I insisted. Then we lost track of time and—
[stop, comes a soft voice in his head. so he does, doe-eyed as he frantically glances between them, breath held, the anticipation creeping higher.]
[ he's shocked, sure, what the hell— the last thing he expected was dick in here. the music blaring in his ears went quiet, heart skipping beats and pulse starting to pound in his ears. and like a stray dog with a bone, his knee-jerk reaction is defense. he bristles, stiff from his toes to his shoulders, his mind fills up and spins helplessly full of bullshit. his eyes go from wide to narrow, while his heart goddamn pounds against his chest, sick with thinking what their last talk was.
how it was supposed to be his last talk, period.
his fingers twitch, clenching white-knuckled around the wire of his earbuds, his keys. evaded death, some fucking how, and he'd sure intended to keep evading dick just the same. he wasn't going back, not for anything in the world. all the glamour of robin was dead and buried. titans was a collection of douchebags he wouldn't miss.
dick's a memory of a goddamn nightmare, of windows and floors flashing back, and jason's jaw is clenched tight against his shitty thoughts. for whatever reason, dick doesn't argue. that sinks in dully, sizhui colliding warm against his side as a dim distraction from shit he'd rather forget.
sizhui's voice slowly registers, but even as his head turns slightly towards sizhui, an arm instinctively curling around him, his eyes stay on dick other than a short glance.] Not your fault, Sizhui. [ and he tries to force himself to sound casual, but it comes out terse. he isn't blaming sizhui for shit he doesn't know, that jason didn't tell him, but he couldn't want anything less. wind against his face, the bright lights from the windows of every floor he fell past flashing in his mind, dick's shout drowned out by the noise of the fall — ]
What the fuck we talking about, guys? [he asks bitter, me? the furious and unasked question. he looks away from dick his fingers tightening in the tangled wire and the soft fabric of sizhui's sweater.] Y'know, me and Dickie have a bit of history, baby.
[ History doesn’t begin to cover what they have between them and Dick can’t help but watch, taken aback by the intimacy of Sizhui tucking into Jason’s side like he’s done it a million times, like he fits and belongs there. Dick looks away, feeling even more like he’s intruding on something intimate. This place isn’t big enough to contain what he and Jason have between them, the mutual clash of personalities.
There’s no way Sizhui can hold it back, as much as it seems he thinks he might be able to. Dick’s head tips down, eyes lifting again, wary and glowering from beneath furrowed brows. He’s—worried, afraid, braced for the storm that brews in Jason’s eyes. His arms cross over his chest, taking in the way Jason’s arm wraps possessively-protectively around Sizhui’s shoulders. ]
It’s fine. We don’t have to get into it. I came by to—[ Dick stops in his tracks because Sizhui and Jason are in his way, blocking the door and his way out and because he’s not going to mention the reason why he dropped by. ] I’ll leave. If you’ll let me. [ He can see the tension wound in Jason’s hand and forces himself to take a steadying breath. ] Thanks, Sizhui. And Jason. [ A beat. ] Happy birthday.
[this was a mistake. not an intentional one, but problematic nonetheless, and it seems to only be going downhill from here. beneath the grip of his arm, he can feel jason tighten, an animal going on the defense like it has been backed into a corner, something that isn't helped by how he's crammed them both into the doorway with his ridiculous clinginess.
sizhui finally lets out the breath he's holding, unable to take it and the almost suffocating tension between the other two people in the room. what does he do now? they have history, jason says, but dick shoots him down, saying they don't need to talk about it, that he can just go. an interpose he latches onto, a diversion while he attempts nudging against jason's side, some gesture of affection he's hoping will help him loosen his taut as a tightwire posture.] Jason, please, it was harmless. [he sounds pathetic, almost like he's begging for it to not be a big deal when it's obviously quite the opposite; their unresolved tension speaks volumes to that.
curious though he is, sizhui's not keen on making dick uncomfortable, particularly after they'd been having a decent conversation, a thing they might be able to continue sometime if this moment ends up salvageable. despite the bewilderment, his attention flickers to dick, head nodding.] You're welcome, [he murmurs, unsure what else he can say at this point, aside from the one lingering question threatening to make him burst if he doesn't ask:] What do you mean by ‘history?’
[though maybe if he's still pushing up against jason to help move them aside, it'll work for further distraction and dick might get a chance he can take— unless, of course, it absolutely backfires just like everything else seems to be doing today.]
[ from day one, dick's always handled him like he barely knew what to do with him. robin number two, he gets it. gotta give a guy time to adjust to being replaced. except it's just a million times worse now and jason'd be stupid to think it isn't because dick thought he watched him go splat from a fifty floor fall. maybe that was a little rough, but dick treats him like a snarly stray mutt. don't move too fast. don't look too long. after all the shit jason told him, maybe he finally thinks he's really crazy.
jason didn't expect him in the middle of the goddamn apartment, making besties with sizhui, but he isn't about to throw down in this crowded little apartment, as much as both of them act like he can't control himself. the pleading from sizhui just has his jaw set harder, but sizhui rushes to thank dick anyway. yeah. buddies already.
he doesn't know why he'd ever expect dick to rise to the bait of his bitterness, because dick's as ready as ever to get out of the way of jason's shit.
the disarming note is the way dick tacks on happy birthday. the tension in his jaw going slack. it's never been a big deal and he doesn't care. the most attention it's gotten in his life was the cake alfred made him. he guides sizhui a few steps forward, gently kicking the door shut behind them.] I mean, he's like my big brother.
[explaining is better than screaming what the fuck. maybe jason has dick's birthday in his memory, but it's different.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
come out of your smokescreen | @deferences | @afuckup
[ ETA, five minutes. In and out. That’s it. Nothing else.
Dick’s knuckles rap three quick consecutive times on the wooden door. The sound echoes through the hallway, shaking through his thoughts as fingers still bruised from his last fight tighten around a small box. The kraft wrapping paper is smooth in his hand, carefully covering a case that holds what he refuses to call a gift. The box is long and skinny with a sturdy weight to it. He looks down at it as he waits for an answer at the door. What he holds will either be a huge success or a massive disaster. He pushes his thoughts away from it and looks back at the door.
In and out, he reminds himself. That’s it. Despite meeting Sizhui for the first time, Dick knows he doesn’t want to be around for longer than simply passing the box off to Sizhui and instructing him to give it to Jason. He doesn't need to stay around for questions or answers, explanations, elaborations.
Sizhui brought Jason back and that’s enough. Sizhui is enough to be around Jason and obviously patient enough to put up with his shit. That should be enough for Dick as well. He has no idea how much Sizhui knows about him and his history with Jason, or whether he knows the details about how Dick fucked up, so isn't it enough that Sizhui texts him at all? Amidst whirring thoughts, Dick checks himself—he has no real right to even care.
What's important is that Jason’s out, he knows that, so the timing is perfect. They don’t have to see each other. There’s nothing to have second thoughts about, no use in second guessing himself. He’s here already. ]
no subject
waiting by himself in the apartment is a little nerve-racking, no matter how long ago he'd started renting at the highrise complex; it's been some odd months, one would think he'd have adapted at this point, would be able to call the small place – procured with a job that oh-so-conveniently fell in his lap! – ‘home’ by now, yet staying all alone still gives him an unexplained anxiety he struggles to tamp down, sometimes has even until he recognizes the sound of jason coming back. he, however, needn't knock and knowing so is what makes sizhui head toward the door. perhaps there's also the faint panic of meeting dick for the first time, hoping he'll make a somewhat decent impression with his hair messily tied back and in an oversized sweater and leggings combo—
goodness, he should've changed into something more proper, but time was already short then it's far too late after someone's at the door and he certainly won't make a guest wait for long.] Coming! [he calls, smoothing back some loose hair, adjusting the hem of his shirt to settle straighter over his hips, further down his thighs. why? why does he want to look okay for someone who'd piss him off if jason knew he was there? he's well-aware the relationship(?) between them is strained to put it mildly, hasn't found it in himself to pry for information his friend never offers and this moment won't be an exception.
for the gift will be his excuse, of course! since jason may be stubborn but sizhui's capable of the same thing, especially given some people back in his homeworld that he's familiar with. he shakes his head, squares his shoulders, exhales a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding and reaches to open the door.]
Hello! [then he politely inclines his head following the soft, excited greeting, steps aside, free hand absently gesturing.] Please, come in.
no subject
A subtle curl of his hips couples with a shake of his head. He’s being rude, he knows, and the pleasant, welcoming gesture of a graceful hand makes it harder to say no. ]
It’s alright, I’ve gotta go. [ In and out, Grayson. ] Hey, thanks, for—doing this. Here. [ Take it—here, the box, held out to Sizhui. ]
no subject
“i've gotta go,” dick says and oh no, he's going to lose his chance if he doesn't act quickly. it's silly, admitting he's afraid of being alone but.]
Ah... [he trails off initially, reaches to take the box.] You're welcome, really, it's no trouble at all! I, uhm. [sizhui stops again then – without genuinely thinking about consequences – uses his free hand to grab dick's wrist before he can just take off.] Stay, please? Even just a few minutes not by myself would be terrific.
no subject
The slight moment of confusion is eased away when Sizhui speaks and the tug of his brows smoothes out to something empathetic. ] Are you along here? A lot? [ Then where does that put Jason? ]
no subject
Sometimes. [a beat] Usually... [no, most times he's at work and then is alone for a little while afterward until jay finally comes.] They gave me a few days off from my job to. Adjust a little more.
no subject
He steps into the apartment, eyes sweeping through what he can see of the apartment. It's small, cozy. Nothing like Jason's room in the tower that's still exactly like how he left it. Dick feels a clench in his chest, like something wrapping around his torso and tugging. He looks back at Sizhui with a smile. ]
That's nice of them. What are you adjusting to?
no subject
dick comes into the apartment and he moves to shut the door behind him, twists the deadbolt into place then leans against the door momentarily. at least whenever dick looks at him this time, he's able to meet his gaze and offer the faintest smile in kind.]
Being here, in this modern world. Everything's so different than where I came from.
no subject
Tiny, but cozy. If Titans was flying, then this was down to earth. Maybe the perfect place to land after falling from so high. ]
The— [ His brow furrows in confusion. ] Modern world? Where you came from—you mean. [ Otherworldly—othertimely maybe, if he were to find a word to describe Sizhui. There really was something off. Right. Makes sense, despite the surprise of the realization. ] You’re not from this time, are you? [ A beat for a thought. ] Jason knows? Your work knows?
no subject
little does he know just what sort of fall jason had before landing here. how fortunate, he's never been the prying type either, particularly when it comes to things that might upset his friend.
the barely-there smile widens somewhat then sizhui pushes off the door and moves toward the little couch (which is like an oversized chair more than anything), perches himself on the edge of it, hands clasped together in his lap over the wrapped box. finally, he answers,] No, I'm not. I come from many, many years ago... and yes, Jason knows, but my job only thinks I'm an exchange student. [a decent cover story, he'd think.]
no subject
An exchange student. That's a decent cover story. Slowly, he nods, accepting the information. He believes most of it and thinks that if he were Bruce, he'd cross-check everything. But he's not and Sizhui seems like he's telling the truth, and it's truly too crazy to be a lie. Not to mention Sizhui has no reason to be lying to him. ]
Okay. [ He'll accept it. ] Okay, I uh-- [ A hand sweeps out before returning to his upper arm. ] I hope you adjust. Easily. Soon. [ Always been shit at the small-talk, when he's not asking for answers or pressing for facts. ] So you live here now? With Jason? [ His head tips to the side, into the apartment, then back again. A brow quirks, questioning. ] Together?
no subject
sizhui casts his attention downward once he's realized he might've stared at dick too long, distracted by how nonchalantly he leans, like he's comfortable despite the tentative small-talk. he can't help himself though, everything he's heard from jason seems... not wrong, per se, but.]
Thank you. [accepted with another gentle, easy-going quirk of his lips which instantly softens following dick's question, the inquiring lift of a brow.] I, ah, I'm the one renting and Jason comes whenever he likes. [an unintentional beat of awkward silence before he briskly tacks on,] Or goes as he sees fit. I don't try to... force him to stay when he might have things that need doing.
[is he being subtle enough about this? gods, he doesn't know.]
no subject
A subtle nod of his head at Sizhui’s thanks, and Dick’s looking down with the pinch in his chest. That often, huh. Might as well be living here--probably does, if he reads between the lines. Instead of lingering on the thought, he moves on to his next question. He doesn’t mean to pry and ask question after question but Sizhui hasn’t expressed any resistance and well—talking about Jason is just easier than talking about anything else.
Not that he believes much of anything that’s being said. Not that he misses the awkward blip of silence as he takes in what Sizhui says. ]
But…? [ There's always a but. ] But you want him to stay here with you, right? Because when he’s gone, you’re alone and you miss him. [ Would Dick ever admit he misses Jason? No. But the present says as much. ] No labels, but it is what it is.
no subject
just like how he's grateful dick looks down when he does since he's peeking up, trying to see if he can gauge a reaction in the man, make certain he hasn't overstepped any boundaries or revealed information jason might not approve. does it genuinely matter when the other boy isn't even here at the moment? would dick honest to god try and find some way to ask him about it? he glances away again, toward the succulents scattered across the nearby windowsill, pouring every ounce of willpower he has into staring at those.
yet dick's question draws his attention anyhow, has him turning back, an eyebrow of his own lifting with consideration. should he agree? it's the truth, there's no doubting that and he's never been the best liar, but what if—?] You're right. [well, alrighty then, guess they're doing this.] He's— Jason is the only person I really know right now.
I'm still settling into my job, my home... [his gaze falters momentarily, lips rolling before he gathers himself.] It's lonely, but that isn't his fault.
no subject
It's not your fault, either. Jason's the only person you know. [ Wow, think about that. Jason Todd, the only person in your life. He manages a smile. ] It's a new environment. It's not surprising that you feel alone. [ His chest tugs. ] But you know me, now, as well. [ What was it that Rachel said? Can't resist a stray? A bird with a broken wing? ]
no subject
being fair, dick is technically right in this situation, too. sizhui straightens and rises to his feet all in one graceful motion, outright grinning while he bridges what distance is between them, an arm outstretched for a more proper greeting; the simple handshake seems harmless enough.] Since we've met properly, I guess an actual introduction is due, hm? My name is Lan Sizhui, though just ‘Sizhui’ is alright. [he shrugs sheepishly, smile broadening.] Old habits die hard.
no subject
His smile tugs wider with the slight cant of his head. Dick’s too used to minding the every point and set of his body, of others’ bodies, and he can’t help but notice a fluidity to the way Sizhui lifts out of the daybed and reaches out. Hm. A fluidity that’s effortless and graceful and speaks volumes about Sizhui’s awareness of his own body. A fluidity that hints at training.
His gaze puzzles for a veiled second as he reaches out and takes the hand in a firm, supportive grip. ]
Sizhui. Good to finally meet you. Dick Grayson. I’m sure Jason’s told you—lots. [ A weight to that last word, tugged by guilt. ] But I’m glad I’m meeting you with no pretense.
no subject
goodness, sizhui's practically beaming by the time dick accepts the gesture and takes his hand, which he closes his fingers around in an equally tight hold. dick's mindfulness in this moment is important because the younger male's hands are soft, but there's a certain sturdiness there that speaks volumes; faint leftover calluses from years of sword-fighting and playing guqin, obviously, though he's discovered the wonders of pumice stones, lotions and other modern world remedies to help. they'll for sure start coming back once the gardening takes.
he doesn't let go or withdraw right away, briefly distracted by dick's comment about what jason's told him.] The same to you. He definitely has, yes, but I have to admit: I'm one of those people who likes to meet someone face-to-face and gauge them in person.
So, I guess I'm saying I'm glad for that, too? [you're starting to sound like jingyi, comes a soft self-scolding then sizhui realizes he should maybe let go, finally loosens his fingers.] And I certainly don't understand what Jason meant when he said, “Yeah, Dick's name really fits him because he is one.” Because you don't seem contemptible at all...
no subject
lucky he's cute.
the landlord loves him, his job is understanding. really shows how far good looks'll get you.
jason wouldn't get shit if their shoes were swapped; even after washing up, jason still feels like a mess. grease stains in ripped jeans and hair fucked up under his hood. jason doesn't need it. he shoves his wallet back into his pocket as the elevator comes to a stop, the doors opening apart for him. new world and all, he'd think sizhui would never get bored, but he doesn't like being left alone. even though there's plenty jason could be filling his time doing, he's slinking out the elevator and down a familiar tight hallway.
all he hears is his own music even as his keys jingle as he slides the key in, opening the door.] Hey babe—
[ — the words are cut off, punctuated with jason yanking the wire of his earbuds and pulling them quickly out of his ears, body stiff and bristling at the sight of dick grayson. his shoulders are tight, jaw set, but jason stays frozen in the doorway, eyes flickering between sizhui's hand in dick's. between sizhui and dick, lingering longer on dick.] What the fuck are you doing here.
no subject
Right. Of course Jason would call him a dick and play on the age-old joke of his name to someone he hasn’t even ever met. Of course Jason would talk shit behind his back but really, what was he even expecting. He probably deserves it, after what happened between them. Dick huffs out a wry laugh, shaking his head before lifting a brow. ]
Jason’s— [ His head whips to the door at the sound of a key in the lock, eyes widening, heart immediately leaping to his tight throat. He’s too shocked to have the mind to pull his hand away from Sizhui’s grip, not that they were doing anything wrong. Just shaking hands. That’s it.
Except for the fact that he knows sure as hell Jason would hate that he’s here.
Silence so thick it could be cut with a knife permeates through the air. So much gets expressed in the tension of Jason’s shoulders, bristling and riled up, spitting words sharp and hot after calling Sizhui babe. He pulls his hand back, drops it to his side as his jaw tightens. ]
Jason. [ In the flesh, looking exactly like he’d left him. ] I’m not. [ Leaving, pushing off the counter he’s leaning on, all hint of the smile on his mouth tugs off as he looks away from Jason and makes a move to step towards the door. It’s fine, he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t care if it makes him look weak, like he’s giving up. He’ll leave. ]
no subject
noise near the door also draws his attention, makes sizhui snap his attention in that direction, heartbeat jackhammering with the realization: jason's home even before his key slides home and the door swings open.
“hey, babe—” but the abrupt pause steals his breath away, makes him suddenly glad dick can form the coherent thought of letting him go which makes sizhui lower his arm, both of them tucking almost shamefully behind his back. no, they weren't doing anything wrong, that doesn't mean dick being inside the apartment is right in a sense. (it's not wrong either, it just feels like outright disrespect for jason's wishes, even if not explicitly stated.) neverminding the apprehension in his voice,] Jason! Hi, [and before he can lose his nerve (or dick can get too far), sizhui's skittering toward jason, sidling up beside him and looping an arm around his waist to squeeze.
doing this inadvertently(?) crowds the doorway a little more, making it so dick either has to stop or attempt an uncomfy squeeze past them both.] Listen, it's okay, I only invited him inside to talk for a little bit! [you weren't supposed to come home yet, goes unsaid for obvious reasons.
he tightens his arm around jason's midsection, both for his own sake and jason's, doing everything within his power to ignore the higher pitch of his voice. (it might also be for dick's sake too, considering any possibly reckless actions.)] I'm sorry, I— I probably should've asked, but it was my fault, I insisted. Then we lost track of time and—
[stop, comes a soft voice in his head. so he does, doe-eyed as he frantically glances between them, breath held, the anticipation creeping higher.]
no subject
how it was supposed to be his last talk, period.
his fingers twitch, clenching white-knuckled around the wire of his earbuds, his keys. evaded death, some fucking how, and he'd sure intended to keep evading dick just the same. he wasn't going back, not for anything in the world. all the glamour of robin was dead and buried. titans was a collection of douchebags he wouldn't miss.
dick's a memory of a goddamn nightmare, of windows and floors flashing back, and jason's jaw is clenched tight against his shitty thoughts. for whatever reason, dick doesn't argue. that sinks in dully, sizhui colliding warm against his side as a dim distraction from shit he'd rather forget.
sizhui's voice slowly registers, but even as his head turns slightly towards sizhui, an arm instinctively curling around him, his eyes stay on dick other than a short glance.] Not your fault, Sizhui. [ and he tries to force himself to sound casual, but it comes out terse. he isn't blaming sizhui for shit he doesn't know, that jason didn't tell him, but he couldn't want anything less. wind against his face, the bright lights from the windows of every floor he fell past flashing in his mind, dick's shout drowned out by the noise of the fall — ]
What the fuck we talking about, guys? [he asks bitter, me? the furious and unasked question. he looks away from dick his fingers tightening in the tangled wire and the soft fabric of sizhui's sweater.] Y'know, me and Dickie have a bit of history, baby.
no subject
There’s no way Sizhui can hold it back, as much as it seems he thinks he might be able to. Dick’s head tips down, eyes lifting again, wary and glowering from beneath furrowed brows. He’s—worried, afraid, braced for the storm that brews in Jason’s eyes. His arms cross over his chest, taking in the way Jason’s arm wraps possessively-protectively around Sizhui’s shoulders. ]
It’s fine. We don’t have to get into it. I came by to—[ Dick stops in his tracks because Sizhui and Jason are in his way, blocking the door and his way out and because he’s not going to mention the reason why he dropped by. ] I’ll leave. If you’ll let me. [ He can see the tension wound in Jason’s hand and forces himself to take a steadying breath. ] Thanks, Sizhui. And Jason. [ A beat. ] Happy birthday.
no subject
sizhui finally lets out the breath he's holding, unable to take it and the almost suffocating tension between the other two people in the room. what does he do now? they have history, jason says, but dick shoots him down, saying they don't need to talk about it, that he can just go. an interpose he latches onto, a diversion while he attempts nudging against jason's side, some gesture of affection he's hoping will help him loosen his taut as a tightwire posture.] Jason, please, it was harmless. [he sounds pathetic, almost like he's begging for it to not be a big deal when it's obviously quite the opposite; their unresolved tension speaks volumes to that.
curious though he is, sizhui's not keen on making dick uncomfortable, particularly after they'd been having a decent conversation, a thing they might be able to continue sometime if this moment ends up salvageable. despite the bewilderment, his attention flickers to dick, head nodding.] You're welcome, [he murmurs, unsure what else he can say at this point, aside from the one lingering question threatening to make him burst if he doesn't ask:] What do you mean by ‘history?’
[though maybe if he's still pushing up against jason to help move them aside, it'll work for further distraction and dick might get a chance he can take— unless, of course, it absolutely backfires just like everything else seems to be doing today.]
no subject
jason didn't expect him in the middle of the goddamn apartment, making besties with sizhui, but he isn't about to throw down in this crowded little apartment, as much as both of them act like he can't control himself. the pleading from sizhui just has his jaw set harder, but sizhui rushes to thank dick anyway. yeah. buddies already.
he doesn't know why he'd ever expect dick to rise to the bait of his bitterness, because dick's as ready as ever to get out of the way of jason's shit.
the disarming note is the way dick tacks on happy birthday. the tension in his jaw going slack. it's never been a big deal and he doesn't care. the most attention it's gotten in his life was the cake alfred made him. he guides sizhui a few steps forward, gently kicking the door shut behind them.] I mean, he's like my big brother.
[explaining is better than screaming what the fuck. maybe jason has dick's birthday in his memory, but it's different.]
Didn't like me not coming home, bro?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)