[ Dick is often hard to read, but Jason thinks maybe he's been getting better at it lately. he watches Dick watching him, knowing he's got more to say about that- like he knows Jason's full of shit right now.
the thing is, even if he doesn't want to be, he knows this is the only way. and so he wants to scoff at Dick's words, but he can't bring himself to do it.]
[ it's hard to put up a front right now, so when Jason asks him the question, Dick can't help the vulnerability that fills expression and the way he opens his mouth to give an answer, then finds that the answer doesn't come so easily.
up here, the city is their witness. and it doesn't feel right saying anything but the truth. ]
The people I care about--and those I've hurt. [ a beat. ] People like you.
[ the city is so bright in front of them, but the look on Dick's face is brighter, as far as Jason's concerned. he knows what it's like to close off. to not let that vulnerability show.
it feels good to see it now on Dick's face, and for once, he gets it. he gets why Dick wishes he were more open with him. he's trying to be, and now so is Dick. Jason thought maybe he'd try and pick a fight about this to help cover up how sad he is that they're leaving, how much he's going to miss this place, but all the fight leaves him at that look, at those words. ]
I hope I can hold on to things like that too. You haven't hurt me though, you know that, right?
[ maybe tomorrow, maybe as soon as they're off this overlook, they'll become the normal version of them again: the version that tries to hold each other at an emotional arms-distance. for now, it's safe. it's simple. and Dick looks at Jason like he has to take a moment to digest what was said to him. ]
I did. I--made you cry. I said we shouldn't give this a try. [ on top of that, he's taking jason away now. he broke the news in the worst possible fashion. he let Jason down by being so far from perfect. he can think of a whole host of other things. ]
[ the normal version of them. whatever the fuck that is. and how sad it is. Jason doesn't want to go back to that, even though he knows he will. they both will. he doesn't want to, though.
but even now at the mention of Dick making him cry, Jason wants to roll his eyes and clam up, and put up this front. he did cry though. he cried because he's a fucking emotional mess so much of the time and he tries so hard to hide it. he wants to make a choice right now, not to.]
Yeah, but. Those are things you said. Not things you did. We're together now, right? We're giving it a try. We're doing more than that. You're not hurting me.
[Jason reaches out, sliding a hand across Dick's cheek, leaning in closer.]
You're right. I'm gonna miss Gotham. But I get to be with you. That's what I want too. Shit went down this way, but if you had taken off to San Fransisco without me... I wouldn't have been okay. I want this too.
[ heās not hurting Jason. not right now, not if he can help it. a small smile curls on his mouth, softening around his eyes as he looks at Jason, cast in the light of the whole city beyond them. he nods just barely enough for Jason to feel it in his palm. ]
Okay. And Iāwant you there. With me. [ not Bruce, but him. Bruceās suggestion had been a blessing. itād been something for him to hide behind. but here, he canāt hide. he presses in and closes the distance between them, kissing Jason, soft and gentle, conscious of the healing split, until heās pivoting to push away from the guard and face Jason instead. both hands find the guard on either side of Jasonās hips. ]
Iām glad youāre coming with me. [ he murmurs the words against Jasonās lips, pulling flush against him. ]
sorry for the delay, dw was being such a jerk yesterday so i just paused everything ;_;
[ it's not often that Jason's the one reassuring someone. he's shit at it, or he thinks he is, anyways. but when Dick smiles and the look in his eyes softens, he thinks maybe he's not completely terrible. ]
That's what I wanna hear. That makes this okay.
[he wants Dick to want him there. he wants Dick to be happy about it. he hasn't really been sure all this time, but hearing Dick say it now, even if he's drunk, it helps.
his own small smile grows when Dick moves closer, getting into his space, kissing him with all those emotions. his own hands slide to Dick's sides, encouraging him to settle even closer.]
There are things I really wanna hold on to. Things that matter to me too. Like you.
[ Jason welcomes him closer and Dick easily obliges, back to the city, front pressing against Jason.
Jasonās eyes are dark like this, but sparkling with all the lights. Dickās smile reaches all the way to his eyes. ]
Then letās both try. It might every day that we find something worth fighting for, but holding onāthatās a different story.
[ a tiny voice in his head warns him, reminding him of what happened the last time he over promised. Jason deserves more than this, it tells him, but the selfish part of him simply presses closer, holding Jasonās glimmering gaze steady and warm. ]
[Dick might think that Jason deserves more than this, but what more is there? he's good with this. he wants this. he wants Dick and just like he does with everything else, he falls fast and hard.
when Dick's smile lights up his eyes, Jason knows he's completely in.]
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the thing is, even if he doesn't want to be, he knows this is the only way. and so he wants to scoff at Dick's words, but he can't bring himself to do it.]
What are you holding on to, huh?
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up here, the city is their witness. and it doesn't feel right saying anything but the truth. ]
The people I care about--and those I've hurt. [ a beat. ] People like you.
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it feels good to see it now on Dick's face, and for once, he gets it. he gets why Dick wishes he were more open with him. he's trying to be, and now so is Dick. Jason thought maybe he'd try and pick a fight about this to help cover up how sad he is that they're leaving, how much he's going to miss this place, but all the fight leaves him at that look, at those words. ]
I hope I can hold on to things like that too. You haven't hurt me though, you know that, right?
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I did. I--made you cry. I said we shouldn't give this a try. [ on top of that, he's taking jason away now. he broke the news in the worst possible fashion. he let Jason down by being so far from perfect. he can think of a whole host of other things. ]
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but even now at the mention of Dick making him cry, Jason wants to roll his eyes and clam up, and put up this front. he did cry though. he cried because he's a fucking emotional mess so much of the time and he tries so hard to hide it. he wants to make a choice right now, not to.]
Yeah, but. Those are things you said. Not things you did. We're together now, right? We're giving it a try. We're doing more than that. You're not hurting me.
[Jason reaches out, sliding a hand across Dick's cheek, leaning in closer.]
You're right. I'm gonna miss Gotham. But I get to be with you. That's what I want too. Shit went down this way, but if you had taken off to San Fransisco without me... I wouldn't have been okay. I want this too.
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Okay. And Iāwant you there. With me. [ not Bruce, but him. Bruceās suggestion had been a blessing. itād been something for him to hide behind. but here, he canāt hide. he presses in and closes the distance between them, kissing Jason, soft and gentle, conscious of the healing split, until heās pivoting to push away from the guard and face Jason instead. both hands find the guard on either side of Jasonās hips. ]
Iām glad youāre coming with me. [ he murmurs the words against Jasonās lips, pulling flush against him. ]
sorry for the delay, dw was being such a jerk yesterday so i just paused everything ;_;
That's what I wanna hear. That makes this okay.
[he wants Dick to want him there. he wants Dick to be happy about it. he hasn't really been sure all this time, but hearing Dick say it now, even if he's drunk, it helps.
his own small smile grows when Dick moves closer, getting into his space, kissing him with all those emotions. his own hands slide to Dick's sides, encouraging him to settle even closer.]
There are things I really wanna hold on to. Things that matter to me too. Like you.
Delay, you say?
Jasonās eyes are dark like this, but sparkling with all the lights. Dickās smile reaches all the way to his eyes. ]
Then letās both try. It might every day that we find something worth fighting for, but holding onāthatās a different story.
[ a tiny voice in his head warns him, reminding him of what happened the last time he over promised. Jason deserves more than this, it tells him, but the selfish part of him simply presses closer, holding Jasonās glimmering gaze steady and warm. ]
Haha whoops
when Dick's smile lights up his eyes, Jason knows he's completely in.]
I'm in if you are. A hundred percent.