farcry | anything can be taken from you.

[ The way Jason finds his way around the kitchen like he knows every nook and cranny is such a sight. Though it makes sense as to why, it still makes him watch, almost mesmerized at the domesticity of the whole thing. With Jason, of all people. ]

Yeah. Gotta plan for everything. Losing my memory isn’t all that unlikely. [ given all the possibilities of their lives, all the dangers, and all the ways things could go wrong. ]

If I can’t remember, that’s more reason for you to, hm? [ he smiles. ] I know it’s hard knowing we don’t have that anymore, at least, not right now, but I’m still happy it happened. I’m happy to see you like this.

[ A year ago, Jason would've called anyone crazy if they'd tell him about the domesticity of all this- but at the same time, deep down it's what he's always craved the most. He never imagined it with a side of being fucked in the head and having to come to San Fransisco, but it's alright.

He'll get back to working on that too. ]

I guess so, yeah. So-- you like, super documented everything? Is there anything else?

[There's something about the way Dick is watching him, something about his words, they pull Jason out of the impending melancholy feeling of it all. It still happened, and Dick is telling him he's happy it did. That means a lot to him, and his lips curl up in a small smile.]

See me like this? Like what, cooking you the best breakfast ever?

[He tries to lighten up as well, finally plating the eggs, grabbing the toast along with a fork and sliding Dick's plate over to him.]

[ Dick has never imagined it before either, hence why he’s staring a little, because as much as he’s forgotten the past year and everything is now new, he wants to make sure he’s hanging onto these moments and absorbing them. ]

Trackers. A lot of them. So I can trace my steps and pull up footage. But all that gives me—us—is what happened in the past year, not my memories. For that I have digital entries. I took audio and video recordings. Not of every day, but almost.

[ it’s hard to describe the kind of relief that floods his system seeing Jason smile like that, and it widens his own smile, a huff of laughter catching him off-guard. ]

Yeah—just… [ not trying to kill him. ] Less angry. Toward me, at least.

[ The thing is, this is new for them too. But maybe it means something that Dick can already feel how comfortable Jason is in it. ]

....Wow. Really? So-- you can see everywhere you've been, and your recordings fill in the details? Audio and video? What do you got on those?

[He wonders how much of the two of them Dick had recorded. In the past he might've been angry about it but right now he's fully intrigued.

His smile grows a little more. He's definitely less angry toward Dick.]

That was me fucked outta my head. Scared of it, too. This? This is me... in love with you.

[He says gently, a little nervous about it, but maybe the emotions with that can be another trigger.]

[ is it new? he doesn’t know, everything here feels like both a future and a past, but he seems to be able to turn around and find the cutlery. ]

Not so much the details, but more like highlights. And lowlights. They’re more like journal entries of things I didn’t want to forget. Sometimes it’s just me talking into a camera. If I did it when I had the mask on, it’ll have more than that. But I don’t know what I have. I’ll have to look.

[ he watches Jason when he smiles, feeling the way his heart picks up, then floods with a kind of warmth he can only describe as love when Jason says that.

it’s overwhelming. his fingers tighten around his mug to hold on to something. he has to take a breath in to loosen the clench in his chest. fuck. why does his throat feel tight, why do his eyes feel prickly? he swallows. ]

Yeah. I can tell. [ his smile softens before he turns away. ] Alright, come on. Let’s taste those eggs.

You really did prepare. Shit. I had no idea you even did all'a that. And that's like, your protocol to help you remember?

[Maybe he should have done that too. Then again, he's always struggled to try and forget the past so he didn't drown in it. Would he remember being with Dick if he lost that many memories? Fuck, he can't even think about that right now.

He's rather think about their memories together, and their shared words of love. There's a spark in Dick's eyes when Jason tells him he loves him- something deep and intsnse. It warms Jason too, because it very much seems like Dick can feel it. that makes it a little easier when Dick turns away. He just wants Dick to know. To feel it in the room with them.]

Hope you like em as much as you did the first time.

Edited 2024-03-20 02:39 (UTC)

[ it’s a whole different layer of paranoia that drives him to do things like that. sometimes, it’s the only thing that can calm his fear, the only thing that keeps him grounded, knowing he’s prepared for every worst case scenario. like this one.

he picks up the plates and takes them to the table, leaving the mugs for Jason. ]

I’m usually pretty truthful with food, so I’m sure I will. [ he knows they probably both have a positive association with people cooking them food, with the sort of domesticity neither of them really got to experience aside from with Alfred.

he sits at the table. ]

That’s part of it. The other part is looking through things like written entries, reports, texts, voicemails. Actually—that night I found you asleep on the couch, do you remember when that was? [ he could start chaining together events from there to build a timeline. ]

[ It's smart, though. It's very smart, and Jason supposes it's all the training engrained into them. Some of it wasn't good, but some of it was. If it helped Dick feel grounded all this time, then all the better, really.

Jason grabs the mugs and heads to the table, sitting down next to Dick. ]

Pretty truthful with food, huh? So you're telling me you for real like all the cauliflower kale shit?

[He snorts softly, trying to enjoy the ease of this now. He's still paying attention to how Dick might be feeling though. He should have grabbed some stronger painkillers from the hospital, but he's sure the Tower has what Dick will need.]

Yeah, I remember. It was less than a week ago- Monday night into Tuesday morning. You were at the Tower catching up on things. I had therapy that day. We were gonna meet up for dinner but you had to go take care of Nightwing things earlier than usual. By the time you were done is was real late but you still came over to sleep with me.

Yeah, [ a half huff of laughter in a hint of playful disbelief. ] I like it because it’s good for me. Keeps me healthy and feeling my best.

[ surprisingly, the pain is tolerable, but then again, he’s trained for this level of pain tolerance too. the broken bones are only fractures, and takes a back seat to the memory issues for now.

he listens intently as Jason fleshes out the details of the night, and takes a bite of the eggs. at which point he stops listening and lifts his brows, gaze dropping to his plate before lifting to Jason’s face again. the tip of his head is clearly impressed.

he’ll have to ask more about that night later, because for now, the most important thing is the eggs. ]

Wow. [ another bite. ] Where did you learn to make eggs like this?

Wow...you know what? I actually believe you.

[He absolutely didn't when he was younger, though.

Jason can tell when Dick absolutely phases out of their conversation, and he feels pretty alright about it because he's also very proud of his eggs. It's a high compliment to be distracted by them.

He smiles brightly, the light touching his eyes.]

Alfred.

...Bruce benched me so fucking often that I'd spend a lot of time with Alfred in the kitchen. He'd show me things and he loved how actually interested I was, so-- yeah. I've got some Alfred secrets up in here.

[He taps at his head, then digs in as well.]

[ even those words of agreement are surprising, although by now, maybe they shouldn’t be. if these are the kinds of conversations Jason is used to, it means they’re more on the same page about a lot of things now. even still, he just looks at Jason with a small smile. it’s—nice. ]

Alfred? [ surprise widens his eyes, even as his smile catches up to the way Jason’s brightens. he’s glad to hear about their relationship, and to know that Jason at least had Alfred when he was benched. ]

That’s a pretty good side effect, you know. I’m glad one of us got Alfred’s secrets. [ he takes another few bites of the eggs, eyes shutting with a soft pleased hum. ] Mm—didn’t realize how hungry I was.

[ They're more on the same page- Jason likes it too. These conversations feel a little more normal, even if Dick is still trying to catch up. ]

Alfred. He was the best of the best.

[Jason wishes he had more time with him. When Bruce sent him away, Jason lost that too. There was a lot going on that no one really realized. But that's all in the past now, and sitting here with Dick, he thinks of it fondly.]

Last time- when I first made them, you told me you'd have to spend more mornings here with me too-- because of the eggs, but I'm pretty sure it's also cause you really love my morning bedhead.

[ Dick nods to that. Alfred really was the best of the best, often a source of soothing patches to the stings Bruce landed. Dick took solace in the kitchen. ]

Did you ever talk to Alfred about getting benched by Bruce?

[ to Jason’s comment about his bed head, he laughs quietly, finding it so endearing, not just the bed head, but the way Jason jokes like this. ]

It is pretty cute. [ disarmingly so. what’s also disarming is the way Jason looks at him, shares these little things about them. ] But also just—seeing you like this. And seeing how much you care.

Nah, not really. Maybe once, but- I think he just wanted to get my mind off of it cause he saw how bad it was eating at me. Maybe we should've talked, though.

[ It's taken many years and many walls up that had to come down, but Jason's been trying to settle into himself, especially lately. Coming here to San Fransisco was necessary to help with that, but maybe living a normal life here has helped too. Having someone like Dick around, who loves him and who he loves back. Pieces from his life that have always been missing, he's starting to find.

That, and therapy. He should really call Leslie.

He laughs a little easier around Dick, though. He's able to be more himself than anywhere else.]

I care a lot. And... it's easy for me to be this way with you now. We've worked through some of our shit in a real good way.

[He really, really wishes Dick would remember, but it's nice to see Dick leaning into it anyway.]

Maybe, but Alfred's good at that. The whole communicating without actually talking thing. He had lots of practice. [ with Bruce and all and with each of their father-figures passing down the same set of coping mechanisms, with each of them giving it their own twist. Alfred's not perfect, either, but the years have softened his edges the same way Dick sees it happening with Bruce. ] It's never too late, you know.

[ there's that he still needs to understand still--just why Jason was here in San Francisco, and what all that conversation around Leslie is about. he takes a few more bites of breakfast and smiles at Jason, a bit of sadness creeping into his eyes. ]

That's really good. I'm glad. Jason, I'm sorry about this. It can't be easy for you, either.

Yeah, I bet he did. I know spending time with me- he was trying. You know me, I wasn't real big on opening up back then. I had to pretend it was all good, all the time. Nothing could get to me.

[Except it was the complete opposite. Every single thing got to him in such a dramatic way. He's calmed down since then though, even with all the stuff in his brain that drug incident triggered.

He's not sure how much Dick knows- read about why he's here in San Fransisco, but Jason would fill him in on that too. He wants to help, any way he can. When that sadness creeps in, Jason reached across to Dick, putting his hand on his arm for a moment.]

Don't worry about that, ok? You're alive and you're gonna be alright. You're not sitting here looking at me like you can't stand me, so- that's already a win.

'Cus it was terrifying, wasn't it? Even admitting it to yourself. Alfred was good about that, too. I'm sure he understood that much.

[ Dick understood it, too, but only on a good day where his own demons weren't creeping up in the back of his mind. ]

Like I can't stand you-- [ a wry laugh. ] I think that's the least I can do after you got me out of that hospital.

Yeah. It was. Really fucking terrifying. I'm sure he understood, but...all of that was building up over time.

[And got him to where he was all around, he's pretty sure. Being able to talk about it now is different, though.

Jason scoops some more eggs into his mouth, a small smirk of his own following.]

Well if anyone was gonna do it, you knew it had to be me. You're very fucking convincing, you know that?

[Even without his memories he knew exactly how to appeal to Jason.]

Yeah, I’m sure. We all do it, though. Alfred did, too. What changed for you? What made you see it so clearly like this?

[ Dick keeps his arm where it is with Jason’s hand settled on it, feeling grounded from the touch. and when Jason calls him out, he shakes his head ever so slightly. ]

I might, yeah. I’m glad it worked ‘cus I really wasn’t looking forward to getting through you, first. [ his grin widens. ]

A lot changed after I left Crane. When you found me, talked to me. When you let me help take him down. And then I was on my own again after you all went back to San Fransisco. It was the worst fucking thing I ever felt. But then you came back, and it made me feel like I had another chance. I know-- you don't remember that part. The part when you came back to Gotham, right?

After that I knew I had to deal with my shit. To figure it all out. Maybe coming back from the dead helped. But knowing I lost everything that meant anything to me- I figured maybe I could at least get some of it back. At least with you.

[It's more than that, but that's the start of it, at least. The thing that really got Jason thinking.]

I would've kicked your ass right back into bed, for sure.

[ Dick listens intently as Jason speaks, sipping thoughtfully on his coffee. there’s a frown on his face at the mention of Crane the same way he’s always frowned about him, but it twists into confusion as Jason continues. he shakes his head. he doesn’t remember coming back to Gotham ]

You mean a year ago? For the weapons being routed through San Fran? [ the last thing he remembered? ]

Looks like it worked, hm? At least to get you started somewhere. Jason, you feel different now. In a good way. [ he smiles.

then laughs, and promptly stops himself with a hand on the aching ribs. he winces briefly before lifting a brow. ]

Uh-huh. Would’ve been nice to see you try.

Yeah, then. I didn't know you'd be there- you didn't know I'd be there either. We were after the same thing. Then you got hurt pretty bad and I got you outta there. We escaped underground and I took you back to where I had been staying. You know that scar on your abdomen? The real sexy knife wound? I sewed that up.

[He smiles a little, and then it swells into an even bigger one. He feels like he's been regressing lately in some ways, but hearing Dick say that he feels different in a good way, that's good to hear. It's really good to hear.

And then he snorts, rolling his eyes a little.]

Would've had you down in 2 seconds flat. I know where all your wounds are.

[ what he remembers of their relationship is worn down to bare threads built on something akin to brotherhood, but Jason has done terrible things and he had still been working on where he stood on that. since he woke up, the disorientation put that all aside, and what he’s seen of Jason has been so différent he still feels like he might be dreaming. ]

Knife wound?

[ the mention of the scar brings something to his eyes, something that looks like shock. he looks down and pulls up the hem of the jacket to reveal the old scar, knowing exactly where it is to see it healed, neat rows of stitches crawling along the shiny scar tissue. an image surfaces and he remembers the gash, remembers blood covering his side, telling Jason to just tape it up until they got somewhere safe, the whole thing blurry and desperate and so painful.

he looks up at Jason then, letting the jacket fall back into place. he wonders what other scars he’ll discover and what stories he’ll be missing. ]

I must’ve started trusting you again then. Is that when we started talking again? [ because Jason left him for dead at one point but then saved him.

then, seeing Jason smile like that does something to him. he smiles wider himself, unable to help but feel like his heart skips a beat. ]

Is that how good you are now? That’s all you need to take me down in two seconds flat? [ there’s a kind of pride in his voice, mixed in with the teasing. ] I’d hope to last at least five.

[ A lot has happened between them. A whole damn lot. He understands why Dick would be confused or unsure about it all- especially on where they stood. Hopefully it's clearer now, just a little bit, but he's sure it's still real strange. ]

Yeah- that one. I did good, huh?

[He can see the shock, but then also the recognition on Dick's face. Little things, even if not completely pleasant to remember, are good.]

It's when we started talking again for real, yeah. We were trying.

[Dick even gets a small laugh, Jason shaking his head a little at that.]

Oh, I'm real good now. You're lucky I'm taking a break.

[ he’s playing catch up, and all in all, he’d say he’s doing pretty well so far by taking things in stride. he’s still eager to get back to his records, but spending time here with Jason has taken his mind mostly off it.

it’s nice just to sit here and talk. he hasn’t ever imagined they could talk in this way. ]

I mean, I’m alive, so I’d say that’s pretty good.

[ trying, meaning they both found ways to forgive each other and meet on common ground. that makes his smile soften. ]

Good. [ he takes a couple more bites of food with a raise of a brow. ]

What kind of break? [ a beat. ] Does this have to do with the street drugs?

Edited (IT LOST HALF MY TAG) 2024-04-02 01:35 (UTC)

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omg jasonnn so cuteee ahhhhh 😭😭😭🥺

Ugh he issss. They're both cute 🥺

they are 🥺

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am sorry for dropping off the face of the earth

it's all good <3

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ooc: Alfred's dead in Titans D: Unless. you wanna play that he's still alive? xD

NOPE, he should stay dead SORRY I FORGOT

xD

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