farcry | anything can be taken from you.

Okay... okay.

[He always ends up okay. He's gonna be okay. This time he's nodding, letting out a shaky breath of his own. When she hangs up he just stands there outside, trying to convince himself of that. Dick is going to be okay. He can't lose another person he cares about so fucking much- another person he loves.

All thoughts of running him then, and he goes back inside. He asks the nurse if there's any news and she lets him know that he's getting some x-rays taken to see the extent of the injuries, but they'll let him know as soon as they know anything more.

He sits back down in the waiting room, leg bouncing as he watches the swinging doors to where they took Dick, before just dropping his head down into his hands to try and breathe and stay calm. He only lifts his head when he hears his name, and he looks up quickly to see Rachel. She's almost unrecognizable with her white hair, but it's so very clearly her, and he feels a wave of sadness and nerves hit him all over again.]

They-- they don't know yet. They're doing x-rays. Rachel... I'm sorry. He was talking to me on the phone, he was upset. Distracted. I didn't mean-- I didn't.

[ Jason looks shattered, and she can feel the sadness and worry rolling off of him in waves, his words broken, his whole body tense with the effort of staying calm.

he starts to explain and she starts to shake her head, stepping in to sit in the chair beside him. her hands curl into fists in her lap from the effort of keeping the tears at bay. ]

That’s not him. He calls people all the time—Dick doesn’t get distracted. It was an accident. [ he’s been in those before. he’s been hurt before, been hit by cars before. they both know that. it’s just a terrible coincidence that this has happened before when Jason had been involved, back when Dick had been looking for him in Gotham. she tries to convince Jason as much as herself. ]

I know it feels like you did this, but you didn’t.

Yeah, but--

[He starts again when she says it wasn't his fault, that it was an accident- but then he stops himself. It isn't gonna help, arguing it back and forth. He knows it's his fault. Dick would have been paying attention if he wasn't so upset that Jason was thinking of leaving. He feels exactly like the poison he said he was.

He drags his fingers through his already messy curls, leaving his hands in his hair as he ducks his head back down.]

He has to be okay. I don't wanna lose him.

[ Rachel watches him, taking a quivering breath as Jason puts his head into his hands. ]

I know. Me neither. [ looking down at her own hands. there’s a long pause. ]

Jason… I’m sorry for saying all that stuff about having a bad feeling about this. I should’ve kept that to myself. It just gets people nervous.

[ He lifts his head, an anguished look on his face as he looks at her once again. ]

But you were right, weren't you. You were completely right, and it had everything to do with me.

[If he had just left without saying anything... the intrusive thoughts start up again, but they're cut off by a doctor coming through the swinging doors, looking around.]

Mr. Todd?

[Jason practically bounds up out of his seat to go over to the doctor, snagging Rachel's sleeve to tug her along with him.]

Yeah, that's me. How is he? Is he ok?

[ Rachel stands up immediately after Jason does, all further questioning put on hold as the Doctor emerges. ]

Come with me. [ the doctor's voice is calm, but the fact that there's no straight answer pools anxiety in her chest. they're led back through the double doors toward the patient rooms, and in the empty hallway, the doctor pauses outside a door to turn toward them. the sympathetic look on the doctor's face has Rachel curling a hand into Jason's, gripping it hard. ]

My name is Doctor Daniella Gomez. I'm one of the trauma surgeons here at the ER. Mr. Grayson is stable. [ but there is no smile on the doctor's face, just a kind of warm, matter-of-fact recitation. Rachel finds herself scared to feel relieved. ]

We ran a series of x-rays and a CT scan. Mr. Grayson has suffered a severe concussion, but we've managed to stabilize him with an induced coma. [ the doctor's hands clasp in front of her. ] This means we've temporarily sedated him to encourage the swelling in his brain to go down, just for around six hours.

[ the doctor pauses, but it's clear she's not finished. ] He has three broken ribs on his right side. There is some internal bleeding, but nothing punctured. His right collarbone is broken, and his right wrist is sprained, but we've set everything back where it needs to be. We'll have to keep him here for observation, but you can see him if you'd like.

Edited 2024-03-03 20:55 (UTC)

[ Everything feels like it's moving in slow motion when the doctor leads them back toward the patient rooms. It feels like Dick isn't ok. There's nothing about this doctor's demeanor that indicates that Dick is ok, and Jason feels like he's gonna lose his mind.

So it should be a relief when the doctor says Dick is stable, but there's so much more. Rachel's hand curling around his makes him feel a little steadier though, and he does the same, curling his fingers around hers as well. ]

Fuck.

[Jason breathes out as the doctor goes through all of Dick's broken bones, the comma-- brain swelling. At least there's no internal bleeding. Jason still feels like he's gonna puke though, and he tightens his hold around Rachel's hand.

His eyes go a little wider when the doctor says they can go see him.]

Yes. Yeah, I wanna see him. I wanna stay with him.

[ Rachel grips Jason back just as hard, finding just enough support in his touch to keep from breaking down and sobbing. it sounds bad. just as bad as she thought it would be, and she has a terrible feeling that she brought it on.

but the doctor lets them see Dick and she pushes that all aside, stepping forward with Jason as soon as the doctor nods and reaches for the door latch. as soon as the door swings open, she lets go of Jason's hand to reach Dick's bedside, looking him over in the hospital bed.

he looks like he's sleeping. the warm brown eyes she knows and are shut, his brows smoothed over, arm bent in a sling laying over a blanket tucked around his body. there's his steady heartbeat drawing its path across the monitor and an IV in his hand. she doesn't realize she's crying until her hand comes away from her face wet, and she lifts her gaze to the doctor. ]

Is he-- [ a sniffle cuts off her words. ] Is he going to wake up?

[ the doctor stands at the foot of Dick's bed. ] I don't foresee his condition worsening, and he is stable. We'll only be able to tell once the sedation wears off.

[ somehow, that doesn't make her feel better. she looks at Jason, expression crumbling. ]

[ Jason wants to run to Dick's side as soon as they're through those doors, but he lets Rachel go instead. He has to slow down anyway, kinda freezing up when he sees Dick laying there all bandaged and bruised up. He gets flashes of the time when Dick got shot. When he was laying on the ground, bleeding out, and Jason ran for his life, so utterly frightened by it. His biggest fear of all.

He isn't gonna run this time, though. As much as everything inside of him is telling him to turn around and run, he stays put.

When Rachel looks at him, he finally moves, going over to Dick's side. He lets his gaze run down the entire length of him, then reaches out to take his hand, squeezing it gently. He doesn't know a lot about people in induced commas, but if anyone would be able to hear what's going on around them when they're in one, it's Dick. ]

You're gonna be okay, Dick. We're here. You're gonna be okay. I love you. I'm not leaving your side. You're gonna wake up, and you're gonna be okay.

[ some kind of expression shows on the doctor’s face. it’s maybe touched, or maybe she feels sorry for them, or perhaps both. she gives them a small smile. ]

A nurse will be in every hour to log his vitals. If you two need anything, feel free to go by the station just at the end of the hallway.

[ Rachel nods, stepping back as Jason steps forward, looking at where Dick’s hand is lax in Jason’s. ]

Okay—thank you. [ and with a last nod, the Doctor leaves and shuts the door behind her. Rachel stands behind Jason, feeling the weight of the night sink down, feeling the quiet of the room, the whirring of the machines, hearing Jason’s softly determined words meant only for Dick, and for the first time, sees a side of Jason she hadn’t known before.

it makes her cry. her breath shakily sniffling out now that the doctor is gone and they’re left to their own devices. ]

He’s the strongest person I know, Jason. And he loves us—more than anything. He wouldn’t…leave us alone like this.

[ He knows he should thank the doctor, but his attention is fully on Dick right now, nothing else existing in this moment but him. He thinks about all of Dick's words, his determination. Don't give up. Dick wouldn't ever. He'd never give up. He'd fight this till the end.

He's crying too, hot tears streaming down his face, but he doesn't wipe them away. He holds on to Dick's hand tighter, hoping that somehow he can feel it- he can feel the determination Jason has to bring him back in one piece. ]

Yeah-- yeah, you're right. He's the strongest person I know. He's not gonna leave us.

[Normally he'd try to be more realistic, but this is what needs to be real now.]

You know... lately I've been healing up a little faster. I think it has to do with being in the Pit. Something about the magic of it lingered in my body and I heal up faster. It'll be the same for him too. It's gotta be.

It has to be. It's in him now. It'll heal him. [ she repeats after Jason, nodding, believing it with all her might. and even if it weren't for Dick, she believes in Jason, and herself, that they would be able to will Dick back, just like Gar had done by bringing Dick to the pit in the first place.

it takes long moments for her tears to subside, and when they do, she realizes she's been doing nothing but watching Dick's face, as if he would open his eyes and look back at her any time now.

but they know he won't wake up tonight. ]

Here... [ she pulls a chair toward Jason, where he's crouched at the side of Dick's bed. ] Sit.

[ Jason nods, his eyes not moving from Dick's face either. There's no pit here, but if anything- Jason would do what he could to get Dick back to Gotham if he had to. It won't come to that, though. He has to believe it.

He only draws his attention away when Rachel pulls a chair over, but he still doesn't let go of Dick's hand. ]

Sorry, I should've.... thanks. Is there one for you too?

Yeah--over there. It's okay. [ she gestures toward a chair on the other side of the bed, tucked into the corner. she pushes the chair closer to him, and sets a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. ]

Jason... do you think we should tell Bruce?

[ If he could get any more tense than he already is, he gets there at the mention of Bruce. ]

No.

[He says before he can even think it over, but then he hesitates, adding-]

Not yet. When Dick wakes up, if he wants to tell Bruce, then he can.

[Calling Bruce and telling him now, it feels like they'd be preparing for the worst, and he doesn't wanna go there. They'll wait and see for when he wakes up.

He pulls the chair even closer to the bed, finally sitting down.]

I think he just needs to know where here for him right now.

[ it's not her intention to make things more tense, but she can feel it in the way Jason speaks to her now. ]

Okay... Yeah, you're right. [ when Dick wakes up. she nods, finally rounding the bed to the other side, pulling her chair up close as well. she looks at Dick's hands, the on in Jason's, and the one resting on the blanket, the heartrate monitor clamped over his thumb. she traces his knuckles with her index, softly drawing along the scarring.

she doesn't feel like making conversation either. ]

[ He's glad she agrees. He doesn't want to argue it right now. He realizes how entirely fucking drained he feels- between their earlier conversation- his and Rachel's, the one with Dick that caused this accident, and then everything after, he feels like he's been going non stop.

Even sitting here for a while, Jason still can't relax though. He can't close his eyes. He just watches Dick's face, his hand, the rise and fall of his chest.

A nurse comes in to check on him and that's the only time he moves back, but then as soon as she leaves his hand is laced back into Dick's again. At one point he even lifts it to his face and kisses his fingers, letting out a shaky breath. ]

[ Rachel pulls back to text Gar, telling him that she and Dick went out, telling a lie to account for them both. it feels bad lying to Gar, but she knows it’s just temporary, only something she needs to do for now. just until Dick wakes up, then he’ll sort them all out.

she feels lost without him, and though she wants to look to Jason for guidance, it feels like he’s at his limit right now. so she folds her arm on the bed beside Dick’s side and puts her head down, unable to fall asleep either.

every once in a while, glances up from Dick just to see how Jason is doing. Jason’s surprisingly affectionate, lacing their hands together like he’s done it a million times, brushing his mouth across Dick’s fingers so tenderly Rachel has to look away. she knows it was out of line to say that Jason idolizes Dick and follows him around like a lost puppy, but she truly only meant to tease him about it, and she really does find it cute.

but in this moment, she’s heartbroken, and she can see Jason is the same. it’s not so simple.

they both pull away when the nurse comes to check on Dick, and return when she leaves. a knock on the door signifies that she’s coming again, and this time, she kindly suggest that they should get something to eat. at least something to drink, though she knows they don’t feel like it. so when she leaves again, Rachel stands up and takes a slow, steadying breath. ]

Do you want some tea? Water?

[ Jason knows that maybe he's revealing their status like this. Maybe it shows that they're so obviously past whatever they were before- or maybe Rachel wouldn't imagine it in a million years, so she won't think anything of it. Either way, Jason isn't going to hold back his affections. Not with Dick, and definitely not now.

The longer he sits here, praying and wishing for Dick to be okay, the more he realizes just how in love he is. How he can't imagine his life without him. He was so fucking stupid to think he could just leave this behind. So fucking stupid.

When the nurse suggests for them to go eat, he wants to argue right off the bat. He doesn't want to leave Dick, even for a second. He looks like he definitely will argue it, until he glances at Rachel. Looks like she needs some air, and maybe he's so fucking dizzy because he needs something to drink. He can't remember the last time he ate, either. ]

Yeah, okay.

[He says quietly, reluctantly standing up. He leans in to kiss Dick's forehead, brushing his hair back and whispers We'll be right back to him before finally letting go of his hand so he can head out of the room with Rachel.]

Just for a little while.

[ the tenderness to that gesture has her heart twisting in empathy. Jason’s completely broken by this, and the more she sees of their relationship, the more everything starts to make sense. ]

You can stay with Dick if you want. I can bring you something.

[ He hesitates again, eyes still on her. It feels selfish, not leaving with her, not making sure she's alright too, but-- he wants to stay here with Dick. ]

...Okay. Thanks. Just a water and... I dunno. Whatever else you're getting.

[It feels like a relief, though, getting to stay here with Dick. Just the two of them.]

[ a part of her is thankful for just a few minutes of alone time. she’s always needed time on her own, as scary as her thoughts sometimes are. on her own, she doesn’t have to hold so steady, to act so strong like she knew for a fact that Dick would wake up.

what if he doesn’t?

besides, she also doesn’t want Dick to be left alone either, so this way, at least Jason would be there in case anything happened.

she numbly makes her way through the halls, where she can feel the energy behind every door, the pain of the hospital, the history that has been through these halls. she tries to tune it all out as she finds the cafeteria. ]

[ He's glad for the time alone too. He feels a little guilty cause he knows he should be with her too, but at the same time-- he needs to be with Dick. Dick is his first and foremost.

And really, all this time, all he's wanted to do was climb into bed with Dick and curl around him. Hold him.

When Rachel leaves the room, he does a little bit of that. He gets up out of the chair and sits on the bed instead, then lays down carefully, gently, pressing his head against Dick's chest as he closes his eyes. ]

I love you. I already fucking miss you. I'm sorry. I hope you wake up soon. I swear to god I won't be such a fucking pain in the ass if you wake up soon.

[ it feels like quicksand. every breath feels suffocating, every bit of effort sinking into shifting molasses, keeping his consciousness pulled under darkness. he can feel a warmth pulling him forward and a quietly encouraging murmuring, cradling him.

the pain is there, too, hidden behind the quicksand and the warmth, and it threatens to break through and pull him under. he fights it like he’s always fought it. it’s his friend and his enemy, and it’s something he’s made peace with by now. it’ll always be there, and he always has to reach for the light.

you’re gonna be okay. you’re gonna wake up. i love you. i miss you. he has to grip back and pull himself forward, through the relenting quicksand and toward the warmth pooling across his chest. even if the pain sharpens every step of the way, he has to reach back.

Dick’s hand twitches in Jason’s, a tiny thing that’s just his index at first. then, he grips back, his fingers curling weakly against Jason’s. everything feels incredibly slow, like someone took time and dialed it back, muting everything. he struggles against its grip.

his first breath is shaky, and he shuts his eyes almost as soon as they crack open. it’s so bright. a familiar voice says something to him, and in the back of his mind, he finds it funny. ]

Ja—son?

[ Jason breathes in, he breathes out. It feels painful when he does so, because of the ache around his heart- but he breathes in, breathes out, keeping it in line with Dick's breathing. Something about it is comforting. It feels like maybe he can pull Dick out of this somehow, if he's here with him. If he works with him.

When Dick's fingers twitch, Jason lifts his head quickly, looking down at the older man. ]

Dick? Dick.... I'm here. I'm here. Wake up.

[His fingers do more than just twitch after that, curling around his own, and Jason lets out a soft sob, moving a hand to the other man's face as the one holding Dick's hand grips him a little tighter.]

You can wake up, it's ok. You're gonna be ok. I love you.

[Dick's eyes open, just a little at first. Jason knows what that feelings-- trying to wake up and re-aclimate to the world. He even smiles a little now, fingers sliding up to push Dick's hair back a little as he wakes up a little more.]

Yeah, it's me. I'm here. You're ok. Just breathe, ok? I'm here.

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ooc: You take over the doctor cause you know what Dick's injuries are and all that xD

the amount of reading i just did on medically induced comas lmfao

lmao you are the best xD

🤍

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okokok here we go LMAO

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